13th September
2007
written by mau

Hilo, Hawaii

It’s damp, it’s dirty, it’s moldy. We stayed 1 day at Uncle Billy’s Hotel, one of the most expensive depressing motels i’ve ever stayed in. The carpeted canter-levered balcony/hallways sagged dangerously in it’s sogginess. Our sliding screen door fell off with every sliding attempt. Obviously, we should have asked for a non-smoking room. We had the kind of sleep where you even cringe all night, disgusted and cold from not using the provided comforter. And I loved it.

I wanted more than anything to buy a 40 of miller high life, sweat in a wife beater, and chain smoke in front of the TV. I’ve lived a decent and clean life, and the opportunity to loosen up a bit was fantastic. Alison wanted nothing of it. The cherry on top was that our neighboring room, divided by a locked door with a towel jammed under it, barely masked the fighting straight out of Jerry Springer. Can you please translate the Hawaiian pidgin I recorded that night, playable above?

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