all things mau

The Real Value of your Culture

Saturday nights in Downtown LA nowadays, tends to resonate “early adopter hipster”, with it’s clean dive bars and cramped $900,000 lofts sprouting like weeds amongst… well.. weeds.  We Angelinos are trying desperately to attach meaning and culture to the forgotten island surrounded by the oceans of the 10, 110, 101, and 5 freeways. I walked [...]

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Do bad, get Rewarded

Spiderman 3 is being released in China before it lands in American theaters… in order to combat piracy. “It will be almost a day-and-date release because of the time difference, but China will see ‘Spider-Man’ first,” Yuan said. Increasingly, Hollywood studios choose to release big films in China on or near their worldwide premiere dates [...]

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Not So EZ Lube

My local EZ lube was kind enough to change my oil this morning. They weren’t skilled enough, however, to pull my car out of the pit. Sir, we’re done with you’re car, but… uh, nobody here knows how to drive stick shift. Do you mind pulling it out? I’m speechless. I won’t even ask how [...]

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How Not to Leave a Note on My Windshield.

I’m Sorry. Not because you think I suck at Parking. My parking skills are up to par thank you. You know that space in front of my house meant for two cars? When I got to my car in the morning, mine was one of two cars parked quite comfortably, thank you. Do you Drive [...]

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The Real Value of your Snack

“I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.” - Mitch Hedberg During the evenings on the SMC campus, vending machines are like a mechanical oasis in the dark corridors. They [...]

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China Hates Mau

Yes indeed.  First I go and anger the Nintendo nation, then I anger the great state of Anna.  But what, pray tell, have I done to anger all of China?  The great firewall of China has blocked all things mau.  Is it something I said? Kim Jong-il… is this your art?  I’m sorry.  I didn’t [...]

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Why I won’t watch Heroes

I tried to explain this to Alison last holy Monday night, but she was having none of it. I don’t blame her. Working in the television industry has ruined TV for me, and therefore, her. There’s an old Garfield comic strip where Garfield get’s mad at city boy John for explaining how the potato chip [...]

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Passive Picketing

Picketing doesn’t count if you’re not there to hold the picket post, IMHO.

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How To Be Sick

1. Become needy and melodramatic. 2. Post dramatic and edited photos on your blog that reflect the inner state of your soul (refer to step 1). 3. Men: Watch all of “Entourage: Seasons 1 and 2″ and “Afro Samurai“. Woman: Watch all of “Sex in the City: Seasons 1 – 42″ and “Oprah” 4. Listen [...]

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Rejection

You could have just told the artist you didn’t like the piece.

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