all things mau

I’m Sorry.

Not because you think I suck at Parking. My parking skills are up to par thank you. You know that space in front of my house meant for two cars? When I got to my car in the morning, mine was one of two cars parked quite comfortably, thank you. Do you Drive an Airbus? Do your parking skillz lack a certain je ne sais quoi?

I’m Sorry.

I’m sorry that you were so angry at my parking (I can tell by the way you angrily write “Why”, that you use curse words like, “shucks” and “fiddlesticks”), that you made the horrible decision to write your note on the back of a stickie with directions to your address.

I mean for the love of dog man. I also use profanities such as “fiddlesticks” and “shoot”. You’re lucky. If I had been one of those godless roadragers who actually use the real F-bombs, I may have gone to visit you here. You just gotta be more careful this day and age amigo. And no wonder you couldn’t park. You probably had a boat hitched to the back of your SUV. Also, your directions are pretty bad. It took me over 5 minutes to google your location.

Next time, use one of the pre-printed, “You park like an Asshole” tickets available here. I’m sorry I used the a-bomb.