all things mau

It occurred to me, over the break, that I have 4 moments in my childhood that shaped my values today.  Each moment was created by something I did or said, from ages 5 – 10, and the response by each one of my family members.  The moments are etched into my brain so intensely, I get flashbacks when I stand in the same spots in my parents home, where these moments occurred.

1.  Religion – My parents Bedroom, left edge of Bed
I had toy guns as a child, but i knew better than to pretend shoot any family member.  So I ran around the house shooting inanimate objects … like Jesus on the cross above my parents bed.  My dad caught me doing so and grabbed my shooting hand, saving Jesus from the line of fire, and gave me “the look”.  The look in itself said everything.  Just in case, my dad then gave me one of my first serious man to man talks. He taught me about god and respect for catholic idols, despite his own religions misgivings.  I will never forget this moment.

2. Anatomy – Hallway outside restroom, in front of my room
My Sister was mother #2 growing up.  Lil miss perfect had the authority to nag me for not cleaning, or in this case, not putting the toilet lid down.  I didn’t understand why I had to.  I then caught her, coming out of the restroom and… BUSTED.  She had left the toilet lid up and the seating rim down.

“Hey Nena, you could have at least put the rim up so you don’t hit it while peeing!”

“what?”

“What, do you pee sitting down????”

“yeah”

“….. oh”

“….. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MOM, GUESS WHAT MAU JUST FIGURED OUT!!!!”

I will never forget this moment.

3.  Bigotry – Living Room, next to the heater
Brothers fight.  It’s what brothers do.  This particular fight ended in a good name calling session.

Me:  “Dummy”

Brother:  “Skinny butt”

Me:  “Idoit”

Brother:  “snot”

Me:  “fagot”

At that moment, I realized my brother had inherited my Dad’s “look”.  In a concerned and suddenly mature manner, he asked me where i had learned that word, and if I knew what it meant.  I had learned it in school, where classmates used it lightly and often. This was 2 birds with one stone for my brother.  He taught me not to be a bigot and a following sheep.  I will never forget this moment.

4.  The Value of Life

Summer vacation is often thought of as heaven for kids, and hell for parents.  I realized early on that this also meant a lot of my social contact with friends was cut off.  After a day of failed attempts at making a play date, I found myself frustrated and bored.  I expressed this new and frustrated feeling to my Mother.

“There’s nothing to do”

“You’re creative, you’ll figure something out”

“I guess.  I wish I would just die”

Boy are those words a mother never wants to hear. I think I was old enough at that point to learn how much I should value my existence, and realize that most of my blurts of nonsense like this where due to not completely valuing the meaning behind these acts or words, and how they effected other people.  I will never forget this moment.
I look at these moments and cringe.  Boy was I a late bloomer.  I value that aspect of me sometimes.  At least for my parents sake.  I’m convinced that late bloomers are easier to raise, and mold.